This blog post examines how the spread of the Ashley Madison website, which facilitates extramarital affairs among married individuals, affects our society’s views on marriage and moral values.
On February 26, 2015, in South Korea, the Constitutional Court ruled 7-2 that Article 241(1) of the Criminal Act, commonly known as the adultery law, which states “A person who commits adultery while married shall be punished by imprisonment for not more than two years, and the same shall apply to the person who commits adultery with him or her,” was unconstitutional. The ruling was based on changes in the times, including shifts in public perception of privacy and more open attitudes toward sexuality.
Amidst this, the website ‘Ashley Madison’ has emerged as a hot potato. Ashley Madison, a Canadian-based online dating site that facilitates encounters for married individuals, lures users with the slogan “Life is short, have an affair.” While the site had been blocked by the Korean Broadcasting and Telecommunications Commission, its return to Korea following the unconstitutional repeal of the adultery law has ignited heated debate.
Given the site’s exploitation of a ‘delicate’ loophole, it’s perhaps natural that Korean society, with its deep Confucian roots, views Ashley Madison with disapproval. A quick chat with people around you or a glance at social media reveals many citizens unable to hide their discomfort. The government, seemingly echoing these sentiments, has taken various actions. Following the repeal of the adultery law, several lawmakers have proposed related bills, and the National Assembly has begun substantive work on amending laws to address this gap.
Yet, an interesting point emerges. Before the adultery law was repealed, this site recruited tens of thousands of domestic members shortly after entering the Korean market. After the law was repealed, the number of subscribers surged dramatically. This demonstrates that many citizens privately hold a positive stance toward the site’s entry into Korea, despite it going against the prevailing public sentiment. In fact, the non-profit organization OpenNet issued a statement titled “Should Ashley Madison Be Blocked?” and attempted to halt the government and National Assembly’s efforts to block the site.
So why do people join this site? The answer is self-evident. Ashley Madison facilitates private encounters between married individuals, for which members pay a fee. In other words, people use the site because they desire sexual encounters with someone other than their spouse—that is, affairs. Why are there more such people than expected, and why is their number steadily increasing?
While methods and systems vary by country, in modern society, unrelated men and women generally marry and make vows to leave their respective families and create a new family together. Marriage demands purity, meaning sexual relations should be reserved solely for one’s spouse. The primary motivation for marriage lies in participating in a legal and affectionate sexual relationship to establish a family and bear children. This motivation represents the most fundamental value underlying marriage.
Adultery directly contradicts this fundamental value of marriage, which is why it is almost taboo in our society. Yet, surprisingly, adultery occurs more frequently than one might think. According to a survey conducted by a Korean research institute targeting married women aged 24 to 35, a staggering 43.3% answered “yes” to the question, “Do you have a lover besides your husband?” A master’s thesis from Sungkyunkwan University’s Department of Home Economics, titled “A Study on Extramarital Relationships Among Married Men and Women,” surveyed 196 women residing in Seoul and Gyeonggi Province about extramarital relationships. It found that 40.3% of married women had experienced an extramarital relationship either in the past or currently.
Amidst this, Ashley Madison emerged as a very quick shortcut. Simply entering basic information allows anyone to easily sign up and access the site. Members can share information with each other and easily select potential partners, enabling contact with multiple people without pressure. These advantages are driving an increasing number of people seeking extramarital partners to visit the site.
So why do people turn their attention to someone else while having a spouse? While there are various reasons for having an affair, the fundamental reason is that the relationship with their spouse becomes neglected. As the relationship continues, they forget the experience of sharing passionate love, their feelings gradually dull, and they naturally desire a relationship with someone else. In other words, they seek to fill the satisfaction they cannot get from their current spouse by having an affair.
So, can one truly receive proper emotional fulfillment through an affair? In other words, can the people who join this site genuinely receive adequate emotional fulfillment? I hold a negative view on this question. Taking painkillers to forget the pain after hitting a rock and breaking a bone is not a cure. It only builds tolerance to the painkillers; sufficient rest and proper nutrition are needed to heal the broken bone. In other words, engaging in an affair driven by immediate desire ultimately remains confined to a physical relationship, pursuing only pleasure, and cannot be a fundamental solution. It only leads to the destruction of a precious family.
Therefore, it is crucial for us to establish the right values regarding infidelity. Ashley Madison is a harmful site that promotes infidelity using the dangerous phrase ‘healthy affair,’ luring those ensnared by one-dimensional desires and extracting money from their wallets. I do not wish for readers to be seduced by such low-grade sites. It is my hope that everyone shares mature love based on values regarding sexuality and marriage that do not betray our society’s fundamental values.
